When my oldest son Jake was three or four years old, we walked downtown to see the lighting of our town's Christmas tree for the start of the holiday season. As we stood and looked at the massive, colorful, and sparkling tree with the rest of the crowd, Jake kept wriggling out of my firm handhold and running underneath the tree.
I would quickly grab him up and take him back out to where everyone else was looking at the tree and point out the pretty lights, telling him “look how pretty!”
We repeated this many times until finally, exhausted from the back and forth I finally crawled under the tree with him and looked up at the view that kept pulling him back under the tree countless times.
We were no longer just onlookers from the outside, we were inside the Christmas tree and it was a more beautiful, quiet, and amazing view than the one I had desperately been trying to show him.
When we take a moment to listen and see things from another perspective the whole world can change.
This was the first time I felt my perspective shift. I finally took a moment to slow down and see the world from Jake’s point of view instead of trying to make him see the world from mine.
Lessons as an Autism Therapist
I have tried to remember this lesson in my work as an autism therapist for the past 27 years. We are never done learning, our perspective changes and shifts as we get introduced to new ideas and new ways of thinking.
As a therapist it is important to be open to learning, especially learning from the “real experts”– autistic people themselves.
A few years ago two of my clients, who would be classified as having unreliable speech (they have speech but it is limited) began to learn a new way to communicate, and I have learned to be their communication partner.
In the past few years, they have become able to type their true thoughts one letter at a time on a keyboard connected to an iPad which then speaks what they have spelled.
And once again my perspective was massively shifted and the way that I saw them and other nonspeaking autistics was completely changed.
What is Autistic Looping?
Many people with autism experience what is often described as autistic looping or autism thought loops. Repetitive speech or behaviors that can appear confusing from the outside but often serve important emotional or sensory purposes.
While there is no single definition, autism loops often involve repeated words, phrases, or behaviors that may offer emotional comfort or serve as a self-regulation tool. Sometimes these loops can seem to bring a person a feeling of comfort or joy.
One young man I work with experiences an autistic loop where he talks about his hairstyle and how he wants it cut. He looks at and shares pictures of hairstyles that he wants to copy for his hair.
Another client loves to discuss airports, he loves to ask people what airports they use, and he often rates them.
These repetitive conversations appear to make them feel good.
In the past, I would hear their autism loops about airports and haircuts and I would think that they were highly motivated by those topics. As a play therapist, I would create games based on these areas of high interest. I thought they were so motivated by these topics because of their autistic looping.
Now that they can fully communicate, they have explained that while that topic may have started from an actual interest, it is NOT necessarily something they are motivated by or highly interested in, they are stuck in an autistic thought loop.
Because of their autism and apraxia, their mind has moved on from this topic, but their body will not let it go.
Insights on Autism Looping Thoughts
This is how my friend and client Jakob describes his autism loops.
“A loop is an action, like words, that are looking for a specific response. I might name a song for my mom, who knows the most satisfying response is to say that song is dumb. That’s a pretty funny loop to do with a radio star.
Some of my friends have more frustrating loops like getting stuck watching the same little kid videos over and over. The good thing about a loop is that it can be calming.
But we can also get stuck on repeat when we would rather be doing something else. We also get mistaken for people who like the things in our loops but that isn’t always true.
We aren’t typically motivated by the topics in our loops. There is a difference between motivation and calming. So remember we are so much more than the loops you see.”
Jakob at the An Evening of Spelling with Andrew and Jakob
Understanding Autism and Looping
Sometimes their looping can cause dysregulation and distress. At times, they feel frustrated with their voices stuck on a particular subject when in their mind they have other things they desperately want to say.
Other times they worry about being misunderstood. They don’t want these looping thoughts that their voice is communicating taken as their truth or real feelings.
They are sometimes embarrassed by their loop. It simply isn’t something they want to be talking about.
When these negative emotions come up during an autistic loop, the loop becomes more entrenched.
Sometimes these loops are created because of an initial negative thought, emotion, or interaction. Our brains want to process that initial negative feeling so we can have it resolved and feel better.
My autistic clients have expressed a harder time moving through that process. For my autistic, apraxic, and unreliably or nonspeaking clients they get even more stuck in the loop.
Stress and Anxiety Caused by Autism Looping
This is how my friend and client Andrew describes his autistic looping. Andrew’s experience with autistic loops sheds light on how deeply disconnected an individual’s inner world can feel from their outer communication.
“The tricky thing about apraxia is that it makes me look like a liar. I have so much I want to say and do, like sharing paragraphs about hot chicks and sports cars I’d like to drive. Instead, I might ask one of my same old questions I have asked on repeat hundreds of times.
My thoughts don’t line up with my actions. Sometimes my actions are the opposite of what I actually want. The more I want something, the bigger the resistance and struggle.
I get stuck in obsessive loops where my speaking voice talks about being able to text or call the same person over and over. In reality I am mortified of looking like a stalker and annoying these sweet people.
It causes me great anxiety but I have finally come to understand why people can’t see my anxious reality. Apraxia.
I feel one way and look another way. Understanding this is life altering. And having my family understand this is monumental. The layers of anxiety start to melt away simply by understanding.”
Autistic Looping: How to Help and Support Regulation
I have learned ways to be helpful from my clients when they are stuck in an autistic thought loop and are experiencing dysregulation.
If you're wondering how to help someone experiencing an autistic loop, here are several strategies I've learned through my work supporting individuals with autism, especially those who are apraxic or non-speaking.
- Respond to the loop. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Sometimes they just need a quick reassurance, the loop responded to, and fulfilled. Then give them something simple and purposeful to do, like putting something away or helping with a chore.
- If a quick response is not enough, we experiment with bigger and more playful ways of responding to and fulfilling the loop.
If Jakob is looping about airports, I may give a very animated review of an airport that I thought was a major dump and would never want to go to again!
When we embrace the loop instead of trying to fight against it this can help them to let the loop go for the moment.
- Engage the logical part of the brain. When we are dysregulated we are in the “feeling” part of our brain and doing something logical can help to move us back out to the “thinking” part of our brain.
If Andrew is in an autistic thought loop about a haircut, we might talk about the rate of hair growth and then try to calculate how much his hair will actually grow between now and his next haircut.
Doing math uses the logical part of the brain and helps him to move away from the feeling part of his brain.
- Use breathwork. Combined with our aromatherapy inhalers, breathing exercises can be an effective tool for dealing with dysregulation or anxiety caused by autsim looping thoughts.
The scent of the essential oils along with counting as you inhale and exhale give the brain a new sensory experience to process and focus on. This can help to engage the logical part of the brain.
- Bilateral stimulation can help us move out of our fight or flight response as well. Something as simple as tapping on opposite sides of your body for a few moments. Or watching something move in front of your eyes from one side to another.
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Aromatherapy Experience Nasal Inhaler Set
We have so much more to learn about autism and looping—especially how it affects communication, behavior, and emotional well-being. Understanding looping thoughts in autism not only helps therapists and caregivers support better mental health, but also opens the door to more compassionate, personalized care.
Access to communication changes everything. What is true for one person with autism doesn’t always mean it’s true for all individuals with autism.
Keeping an open mind as a therapist or just someone interacting with autistic people is such an important and beautiful way to be an advocate and an ally.
To your wellness,
Susan